Your Fantasy: Overcoming Internet Porn Addiction

You’ve been locked in your room for hours tonight as you feed your private fantasies by logging on to your favorite porn site. There could be a significant other in your life or you may be single and use these enticing sites as a way to relieve your sexual frustration or live out your fantasy sex life.

Either way, you’ve come to a crossroad in your life; you’re beginning to wonder if you are addicted to internet porn. You know your Mom would never approve and you’re certain that if anyone found out your dirty little secret you’d be viewed as a pervert and uncivilized.

You dare not talk to anyone about your leisure activity for fear of being ostracized and criticized. This fear causes you to withdraw, making up lame excuses for not wanting to hang out with friends and family or attend company functions. At times you may even feel as they everyone you know can guess what you’ve been up to and that causes you to be shameful. But still…you point and click.

What is an internet porn addiction anyway?

In my belief system I define it as a magnetism to pornographic pictures which fuels your arousal. The term “addict” is a derogatory word that was created to label people who obsessively indulge in any activity.

But, are you really addicted?

First, I’ll ask you a few questions in order to gauge whether or not you are a porn addict.

1) Do you find that your interest in porn takes precedence over your interest and ability to engage in “real” sex with another person?
2) Has your interest in porn caused you to neglect the daily duties of life like “healthy” social interaction and routine duties on your job?
3) Do you feel shame immediately after indulging in your primary past time of masturbation induced by the clockwork arousal incited by these rated R websites?

After you can honestly answer these questions, I have one more question that will help you with your perceived problem.

Who told you that something was wrong with watching porn on the internet?

Why do you believe that you have to safeguard your interest so securely? There are millions of people around the world who enjoy looking at naked pictures and sexually themed videos as much as you do. If there weren’t there would not be so many porn sites on the internets.

So what makes it so WRONG when you do it? Is it because someone told you that becoming aroused by watching someone engage in a natural expression of intimacy was unbecoming?

Why did you believe them?

What if I told you that there was nothing wrong with you? Would you believe me? No? Well, I can certainly understand that. It is much easier to believe that we are dirty, sinful creatures with unnatural urges than it is to believe that we are powerful beyond measure and we have the ability to create greatness in our lives.

You know that because you smile politely when complimented yet mull over criticisms for weeks even when the giver of these criticisms is someone you do not respect. You seem to WANT to believe you are a bad person and your expressed desire blankets all of your experiences.

How can you “get over” your porn addiction?

You must first accept that you like what you like. You like seeing people have sex. Say it aloud.

I like watching people have sex.

Did you whisper it or did you say it strong and proud? Why did you whisper? Are you afraid someone is going to hear you and judge you?

Who is your judge? Is it your mother? Is it your neighbor down the street? Is it your boss or your child or your mate?

Why do you allow their opinion of you to matter more than your own? Why do you give them that power? You like porn. It makes you feel great when you watch it and nothing beats the orgasm contributed by this euphoria.

If you really want to get over your porn addiction, you must first understand that the “addiction” is not to the porn itself but the feeling that you get when you are doing something you are not supposed to do. If you took the taboo off of porn, you would not be so easily aroused by it. We are often magnetized by the forbidden.

Do you feel shameful when you eat a banana?

Why not?

Because it’s “okay” to eat bananas. No one is going to say anything to you if they find you enjoying this succulent fruit.

Listen to me- It’s okay to watch porn.

It’s a great way to live out your sexual fantasies without actually having to go through the hassle of arranging the scenarios and dealing with the emotions involved with the forbidden trysts.

There is nothing wrong with you. Whoever told you that was WRONG.

If your desire is to curb the amount of time you spend viewing porn then you can try this exercise:

Take out a calendar and mark every odd numbered day with a big red circle. On these days you can watch as much porn as you would like free from the guilt associated with it. On days that are not circled you should find something else to do. Work on a hobby or hang out with a friend instead. This works because your mind will be so caught up on “Is it a RED day today?” that you will begin to laugh at the fact that you even HAVE to ration out your interest in porn. This releases the shamefulness and fear of it.

What about your mate? What if he or she finds out that you like to watch porn?

Well…go ahead and tell them and see what happens. Don’t be scared. You might be shocked to find that your partner enjoys porn as much as you do. Or you may introduce that person to a new aphrodisiac that will take your bedroom escapades to a new level.

If your partner does not accept you fully, then they have not embraced loving you fully. You don’t have a problem, all you have is an interest that society deems unacceptable yet continues to thrive in our society everyday.

There is someone who exists who is into what you are into. They like what you like. They will want you for you. And if you don’t desire a relationship then that is fine too. No one is forcing you to be a part of a couple. If you do decide to be in a relationship be sure that the person can love and accept ALL of you, even those interests and activities that others find improper.

A love like this…is sure to last a lifetime and even if it doesn’t at least you had a lovely experience.

Be YOU. Love how you love.

Anything outside of that...is a sin.