Monday, February 7, 2011

The Biggest Mistake Women Make While Dating

The biggest mistake women make while dating is TRYING to get a man to love them. At the first attempt to impress a man he can feel the desperate vibes and is immediately turned off. If those vibes had a voice they would scream, “I need you to love me. Please!”

STOP BEGGING!

Only abusive or controlling men find this vibe appealing. They zero in on this trait and will use it to manipulate women in order to release the negative energy they have stored up because they really hate themselves. These women will allow it because they are desperate to be loved and these men know it. They love these type of women because they become willing punching bags.

In order to shift this behavior you do not have to do anything to change who you are. You can reach a more healthy place mentally when you decide that…

IT DOES NOT MATTER IF THE PERSON SITTING IN FRONT OF YOU LIKES YOU!

Notice how you interact with people when you do not care to impress them. You smile casually at the grocery store checker, chat easily and make jokes freely. You do not care if you ever see him again so you are able to be your true light hearted self. THIS is the person that people should meet. THIS is the person that will be loved.

In order to ensure that THIS person is the person you present you should let go of the idea that you NEED to get married. You don’t HAVE to get married. You don’t HAVE to be loved romantically to experience joy in life. Being in a romantic relationship is not a life requirement or a right. Being a part of a couple is not a valid way to gauge your success.

Of course it is difficult to grasp this concept in a society where coupledom is commercialized and expected. The truth is, YOU define your expectations for your life. If you want to get married, there is nothing wrong with that. Respect the desire, recognize it and do nothing about it.

Stop trying so hard. Stop spending hundreds of dollars to transform yourself into someone that others will like. The RIGHT people will like you when they can meet the REAL you.

Success Stories

Annie

My friend Annie swore that she would never be involved with a man again after her first marriage which was abusive. Her mother had to go over and remove her children from the house before she woke up and realized that she was in a bad place.

Less than two years later, Annie was in the drug store buying medicine for her cold. Her hair wasn’t done. She was wearing her nightclothes and slippers and she was coughing uncontrollably. As she walked over to the check out line a man approached her and said, “You are beautiful.” She looked around to see who he was talking to. He was talking to HER. She has been happily married to this man for more than 5 years now.

Dianna

Annie’s sister Dianna had a string of relationships that were not beneficial to her. She knew she deserved love and would affirm her desire in my ear whenever we would talk. She wasn’t the club going type of person and didn’t hang out in bars so she had no idea how she would meet someone but she held firm to the belief that there was someone for her.

One day, her sister Annie sent a carpenter to her house to give an estimate on floor work and when he saw her, dressed in rags, and I do mean RAGS, he was smitten. He took his time with her. He asked her out multiple times but she was not paying him any attention. One day she decided to take him up on his offer to go out to dinner because he had been so good to her family. She went and had a great time and soon grew to like him. When she brought him into the restaurant where I was working so I could meet him I was flabbergasted.

“This is a MAN!” I told her.

She smiled. “He takes such good care of me and my daughter.”

The true sign of his manhood was shown when she would be mean to him, refusing him to let him touch her. He comforted her by saying, “I don’t know what kind of men you have been dealing with but I am not pressed for sex. I know sex will come when you are comfortable and can trust me. Let’s work on that.” He then went out and bought a car seat for her daughter to put in HIS car. I was blown away.

And when my car was stuck on the side of the road in flooded waters and I sat there waiting for a miracle, I called her and she called him. He left work to come help me. I love him! I can’t wait for their wedding in September!

Relax. Your time will come when you can understand that you do not NEED it to come right now. Go about your life making your life as wonderful as you can make it. Be yourself. If you're crazy, BE CRAZY. If you like to party, GO PARTY. Who you are is good enough at this very moment even with all of your mess.

Be good to people and yourself. Trust that if it is your desire it will come to pass. When you frantically try to make it happen, you push it away. Do everything in perfect peace knowing that you deserve every good thing your heart desires. From this place of joyful expectancy, in magical ways, someone will knock on your door, you’ll receive an email or you will literally FALL into your greatest love’s life.

I love you.

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