The Power of Projection

Words by Te-Erika

There was once a young woman who had a habit of putting herself down. She would tear apart her self image by being critical about her weight, her height and her style. She consistently compared herself to everyone else and in her eyes she always fell short.

These feelings of self hatred transferred into other areas of her life. Her work suffered, her friendships suffered and she became known as the mean lady who never smiled. As a result, no one ever smiled at her.

Her poor self image had taken root and multiplied its negativity into all of her life’s affairs. Her heart desperately wanted a change, but her mind told her that it was impossible. Though she wanted to be seen as charming, beautiful and sociable, she did not believe that she could shake the reputation that she had earned.

One day she was at the market and saw a piece of paper float down by her feet. When it fluttered to a rest, she picked it up and read the simple message: Celebrate Yourself.

She took this as a sign that today would be a new day for her. Instead of picking up the TV dinners and orange juice that she normally purchased, she decided to buy a bottle of wine, fresh vegetables and pasta. A change in routine would be just the thing for her celebration.

As she checked out with the groceries, she smiled at the cashier whom she had seen many times before. “Bless you,” she said as she grabbed her packages. “Thank you for your help,” she continued sincerely. The cashier, who had been in her own dreary world, suddenly perked up and returned the blessing with a grin.

As she walked to her car she began to feel better. She recognized a certain exhilaration in giving positivity to others and she wanted to experience it again.

By the time she got home to her apartment, she was floating on air. She had waved at everyone she saw on the street and they returned her eager greetings with warm smiles and waves.

She decided to test out her new attitude by calling up her closest girlfriend whom she had not spoken to in months due to her own reclusiveness. The girlfriend greeted her hesitantly at first, but upon hearing the genuine jubilation in her friend’s voice, she rushed over to see for herself what had happened.

There was no physical difference in her appearance. There was no financial tide that had come in. Her friend eyed her closely, but the only difference she could see was the sparkle in her eyes.
“All of this time I thought the world hated me but it was because I hated myself. No one smiled at me and it was because I never smiled first. Today I decided to be the giver. Today I decided to be the initiator. Today I decided that I will show people how I want to be treated by treating myself well and then of course, treating them well.”

From that day her life was transferred by a firm decision to always give what she wants to receive and to love herself in the way that she desires to be loved.

The principle at work: What a person gives, even to herself, will be doubly returned.