They want attention
Instead of asking for your time or attention, people will be critical, rude or mean. They will send out a rude text message just to get your attention.
They feel powerless
When a person feels powerless to change one aspect of their life, they will often act out in another area or against another individual so that they can feel powerful. They often take this too far for example, police officers who go overboard in their brutal treatment of suspects and criminals. Or fathers who hate their jobs and want to quit but feel like they have no other options so they will come home and take out their frustrations on their wives and children. You can even see examples of this in elderly people who are lonely. They are often unruly due to the fact that they are watching their bodies debilitate and they feel powerless to stop it.
They desire a specific type of relationship with you and they can’t have it
They are upset with you because you won’t play the role they want you to play in their life. In order for them to feel better they pretend to act like they don’t care by being mean to you. They will often go out and try to tell as many people as possible terrible gossip about you so that no one else will have a positive interaction with you either. They are attempting to block everyone else from having the relationship they desired with you. THAT is why they are gossiping about you. You won’t do what they want you to do. They are upset because they can’t CONTROL you.
They are showing you how they are treated at home
A person’s actions will ALWAYS mirror the treatment that they are receiving behind closed doors. If their home life is in shambles, its best to believe that their outside relationships will reflect this turmoil. They don’t know how to be different.
They are upset with themselves
Maybe they know they messed up with you. They haven’t forgiven themselves yet so being mean to you is the only way they can push those feelings of guilt and shame down when they are near. They want you to believe that you deserve that mean treatment, but really they want to give you the opposite. The meaner they are, the more obvious it is that they love you and want to be near you but they can’t because they messed up and they do not know if they can fix the issue or they know they don’t deserve a second chance.
Or they're mad at themselves for how their life is right now and they take it out on YOU because they know you will allow it.
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