“All the women who are independent! Throw your hands up at me!”- Independent Women by Destiny’s Child
There seems to be a celebration going on these days for women who can handle the demands of life without assistance from a man. The most celebrated artists like Webbie and brilliant producer Neyo have both released singles that celebrate the type of woman who “got her own house, she got her own car. Two jobs, work hard, she a bad broad.”
This has undoubtedly caused women to strive for independence and feel better about not needing a man’s support. For some women, this surge of appreciation for being independent is actually representative of an innate fear that we have to take care of ourselves because men are untrustworthy and selfish.
But who really wants to be independent? Would you dare to imagine a romantic relationship where a man supports you financially and emotionally to the point where without him, your life would not be the same?
“But I don’t want to depend on a man! What if he leaves me?” you might ask.
If that is your primary concern while involved in a relationship then it might be best to choose someone else. Whatever you put concentrated focus and energy into is actually an expressed desire. We tend to imagine the things we expect for our lives whether they are fears or blessings. Whatever it is that you are imagining is an indication of something that you believe you deserve.
“That’s not true! I don’t want him to leave me hanging. I don’t want him to cheat on me! I don’t want to be homeless and hungry and alone!” you might reply.
Well, if that is not something that you want for your life then it would be best to train yourself not to imagine/expect it. Focus on those things you do want from life; a loving spouse, a great job that allows you to express your talents, children who are a reflection of your brightest attributes.
Just ask the thousands of divorcee’s in this country who were relieved that they signed prenuptial agreements before they got married. During the marriage they secretly held separate bank accounts and purchased property in their mother’s name…just in case he or she acts up.
What is it about the nature of man that forces us to believe that we must be on guard in every relationship…just in case?
As famed metaphysicist and author Florence Scovel Shinn once wrote:
“If one asks for success and prepares for failure, he will get the situation he has prepared for.”
In the case of the numerous divorcee’s mentioned above, they received exactly what they prepared for.
Wouldn’t it be lovely if we were engaged in a relationship where we trusted our partner to support us during our weaknesses and work to meet our every desire? Wouldn’t it be wonderful to give the same type of support? If you can honestly say in your deepest heart of hearts that you would love to give selflessly and completely then there must be someone else out there who holds the same desire. Don’t disguise that desire by acting in fear and preparing yourself for the worst case scenario.
The worst case scenario is not promised to you. The best case scenario is your destiny.
Give with all that you have. Love without fear. Take the risk of expressing your love in the way that you wish would be expressed to you. Show the world what you believe you deserve by treating others in the manner that you truly believe you deserve.
In recognition of the universal principle that states “like attracts like” you will receive the very treatment that you give to others. Why not sow a seed of encouragement, support and inspiration in the same manner that you would like to see it appear in your life.
You don’t have to be independent. You don’t have to do it all alone. Prepare for your helpmate, your second half, your best friend in a way that matches your greatest fantasies. Prepare, give freely and expect nothing less.
There seems to be a celebration going on these days for women who can handle the demands of life without assistance from a man. The most celebrated artists like Webbie and brilliant producer Neyo have both released singles that celebrate the type of woman who “got her own house, she got her own car. Two jobs, work hard, she a bad broad.”
This has undoubtedly caused women to strive for independence and feel better about not needing a man’s support. For some women, this surge of appreciation for being independent is actually representative of an innate fear that we have to take care of ourselves because men are untrustworthy and selfish.
But who really wants to be independent? Would you dare to imagine a romantic relationship where a man supports you financially and emotionally to the point where without him, your life would not be the same?
“But I don’t want to depend on a man! What if he leaves me?” you might ask.
If that is your primary concern while involved in a relationship then it might be best to choose someone else. Whatever you put concentrated focus and energy into is actually an expressed desire. We tend to imagine the things we expect for our lives whether they are fears or blessings. Whatever it is that you are imagining is an indication of something that you believe you deserve.
“That’s not true! I don’t want him to leave me hanging. I don’t want him to cheat on me! I don’t want to be homeless and hungry and alone!” you might reply.
Well, if that is not something that you want for your life then it would be best to train yourself not to imagine/expect it. Focus on those things you do want from life; a loving spouse, a great job that allows you to express your talents, children who are a reflection of your brightest attributes.
Just ask the thousands of divorcee’s in this country who were relieved that they signed prenuptial agreements before they got married. During the marriage they secretly held separate bank accounts and purchased property in their mother’s name…just in case he or she acts up.
What is it about the nature of man that forces us to believe that we must be on guard in every relationship…just in case?
As famed metaphysicist and author Florence Scovel Shinn once wrote:
“If one asks for success and prepares for failure, he will get the situation he has prepared for.”
In the case of the numerous divorcee’s mentioned above, they received exactly what they prepared for.
Wouldn’t it be lovely if we were engaged in a relationship where we trusted our partner to support us during our weaknesses and work to meet our every desire? Wouldn’t it be wonderful to give the same type of support? If you can honestly say in your deepest heart of hearts that you would love to give selflessly and completely then there must be someone else out there who holds the same desire. Don’t disguise that desire by acting in fear and preparing yourself for the worst case scenario.
The worst case scenario is not promised to you. The best case scenario is your destiny.
Give with all that you have. Love without fear. Take the risk of expressing your love in the way that you wish would be expressed to you. Show the world what you believe you deserve by treating others in the manner that you truly believe you deserve.
In recognition of the universal principle that states “like attracts like” you will receive the very treatment that you give to others. Why not sow a seed of encouragement, support and inspiration in the same manner that you would like to see it appear in your life.
You don’t have to be independent. You don’t have to do it all alone. Prepare for your helpmate, your second half, your best friend in a way that matches your greatest fantasies. Prepare, give freely and expect nothing less.
1 comment:
You could have whatever you like, you could have whatever you like...yeah! I love that song and hope that one day I'll hear those words with genuine love and generosity. I appreciate this article and the different perspective of the meaning of independence of woman. Being independent to me (after years of my father drilling it in my head) is trusting myself to provide/protect/please [for myself] in the event a man is not able to. My most precious investment is knowledge; it portable and can't be taken away. I love Jill Scott for singing "The Fact is I need You".
Check out the lyrics:
"I can pay my own light bill baby
Pump my own gas in my own car
I can buy my own shoe collection
I've been blessed thus far
I can kill the spider above my bed
Although it's hard because I'm scared
I can even stain and polyurethane
But some things just don't change
I need you yeah
Sometimes so hard to say oh
I need you"
I still need a man and he is going to know he needs me too!!
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