When You've Been Played

I would love to write an article called How To Spot A Player but I can't. I'm oblivious. It seems only those who play games or have been gamed consistently can recognize game. So that leaves me out of the loop.

I rarely meet anyone I am attracted to enough to actually desire to BE with but I recently did. I found myself opening up, becoming vulnerable, allowing myself to like and be liked. Then out of nowhere- WHAM! I found out she was playing games with me. I was sad at first. Extremely sad. The person she had shown me was someone I wanted to get to know, to love and to be a friend to. After I grieved the loss and shook off the embarrassment, the analytical side of me tried to figure out WHY people play games...

I came up with a few reasons...

1. People are Opportunists- If they see that they can gain something from you, they will play the perfect role to get it even if it means pretending to be in love with you.

2. People Have No Clue They Are Wrong- All of their lives they have watched their parents play love games this way. They believe love is about conquering and power and pain and control. Their friends play love games in the same shady way too so they figure that this is what relationships are about.

3. People Have Been hurt- They enter into a relationship for the bliss of it, but as soon as they realize they’re becoming vulnerable they lash out, seeking to hurt their partner before they are hurt.

How Are We Played?

Well, it’s the unsuspecting NON PLAYERS who are played by their dubious counterparts. We have no clue that the other person is being insincere because we know we are capable of being loved and their sweet words are what we believe we deserve to hear. Their gestures of kindness are exactly what we believe we deserve to receive. We figure that it is only justifiable that someone should love us and want to be with us; after all we are loveable beings. We trust them because that is what we believe we deserve and we know that we are trustworthy so why can't the next human being be?

How We Get Over It

We have to KNOW that just because they got over on us, played our emotions for their gain, and then walked away, they actually lost out because they'll continue to repeat that vicious cycle as they gain no real satisfaction from it. Eventually they'll desire real love...but will have burned so many bridges that they won't believe it exists for them.

Keep loving how you love, even if it means being hurt. Keep being honest. Keep being vulnerable. Keep being YOURSELF. One day…one glorious day...you'll meet a match who is mature enough and loves themselves enough to appreciate and accept your pure love.

The bumps and bruises heal but bad habits are hard to break. Just because you got bit doesn't mean you have to become a vampire. Don't let their destructive ways turn you into one of them.

Love the real way, The PURE WAY and walk away if it isn't returned. Rejoice in your giving love exactly the way you wish to receive it.

Love without fear.